Your friend is hurting and in crisis. You want to help, but you don't know how. Here are some suggestions and tips. Please reread the post "How You Can Help Me" on this blog for additional practical ideas:
If you are geographically close, drop by as much as possible and just keep your friend company. If you aren't nearby, call her daily to let her know that she is not alone and look closely for abnormal depression. In my experience (a general rule of thumb), the most critical times are weeks 6-10 when depression really gets a hold on you after the shock and adrenaline wear off. If you see signs of utter despair and hopelessness and the Holy Spirit plants an urge in you to worry, you need to drop everything and go to her and don't wait. Just knowing that someone will be stopping by helps you feel more accountable. Just draw upon your own experiences and remember what helped you when you felt lonely and depressed and hopeless. Most of all, I think what helps people is just not being physically alone.
Is she a believer? If so, you can (gently) share the Bible with her. Stay away from Romans 8:28 and those verses because right now she is not ready to hear that God intended this for her good. She can't see past the sorrow right now. I would share these verses with her first: Isaiah chapter 41, the Book of Psalms and Job. Again, start with verses where someone is crying out to the Lord in times of trouble because that is where she is right now.
This is not an exhaustive list, but these are verses that I found comfort in during hard times:
Psalm 27:13-14: “I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord.” (NASB)
Jeremiah 29:11-13 “For I know the thoughts I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you and expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and I will hearken unto you. And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.” (KJV)
Isaiah 41:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” (KJV)
Isaiah 57:1-2 “The righteous perish, and no one ponders it in his heart; devout men are taken away, and no one understands that the righteous are taken away to be spared from evil. Those who walk uprightly enter into peace; they find rest as they lie in death.” (NIV)
II Corinthians 4:7-9 “But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God and not from ourselves; we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” (NASB)
“ I will feed My flock and I will lead them to rest,” declares the Lord GOD. “I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken and strengthen the sick . . . ” Ezekiel 34:15-16 (NASB)
“For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd, he will lead them to springs of living water; and God will wipe every tear from their eyes.” Revelation 7:17 (NIV)
Job 42:12a “The Lord blessed the latter part of Job’s life more than the first.” (NIV)
Psalm 84:11 “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; The Lord gives grace and glory; No good thing does He withhold from those who walk uprightly.” (NASB)
Job 23:10 “But he knows the way I take; when He has tried me, I shall come forth as gold.” (NASB)
James 5:11 “We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord’s dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful.” (NASB)
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