Where Are You Lord? Why Am I Forgotten?

Isaiah 41:13 “For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” (KJV)

Psalm 46:4-5 says, “There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at the break of day.” (NIV). If I lived in a city during the time of King David and an enemy’s army was outside the walls, the scariest time would be the dead of night. I liken that to my grief. The scariest times for me were in the darkest time of night when I was confronted with my loneliness and my vulnerability. When I would lie in bed and beg God to change my circumstances, restore my joy, and give me peace. I could identify with the Israelites and how they must have heard the enemy soldiers outside their walls even though they could not see them and had no idea how many were. My biggest fear was also the unknown and the future that stretched before me with no hint of light or end of pain. When we are in these circumstances, this verse encourages us to stand our ground. Even though things sound bad and we have no idea what is ahead, God is going to bring us help, comfort, and aid at the break of day. We just have to have enough faith to stand firm all night at the city wall and wait for the daybreak to come. So the question we all wonder is “What if that day never comes?”

The disciples also give us another example of questioning God’s timetable. Matthew 14 tells the story of the day that Jesus fed the five thousand. After this miraculous event, he sends his disciples out alone on a boat around 6 p.m. and a storm struck. In fact, hours passed and Jesus did not come. The disciples must have been angry and asked the same hard questions that I would have asked:

• How much longer do I have to wait for this storm to end?
• If Jesus was God, He must have known the storm was coming and yet sent us out onto the water?
• I am crying out to Him and He promised to hear my voice so why isn’t He responding?
• Why did He care about feeding five thousand people and not me, His follower?
• Am I not important to Him?
• I can’t see him through this storm. Is He even there?
• Is everything I believed a lie?

Many of us find ourselves in the same situation: waiting for the Lord to change our circumstances, searching for hope and for an end to our loneliness, our problems, our disappointments, and our sorrow.

Matthew 14:25 tells us that Jesus finally came by walking on the lake during the fourth watch of the night (3:00 to 6:00 a.m.). Why did He wait so long? If we study the passage further, something remarkable happens. Peter steps out of the boat and in a demonstration of his faith, he walks on water to meet his Lord. Stop and consider what Peter was feeling. Many times when I read these stories, I fool myself into believing that these are characters who were not real people just like me. I have always assumed that Peter was confident and full of courage and knowledge after his time with Jesus, after all according to church history he was the man who asked to die hung upside down on the cross because he did not feel worthy of a death like his Lord. But, after thinking about Peter’s dilemma, I think Peter was tired of being in the boat. He knew that he couldn’t fight the storm any longer and that he had reached the end of his reserves. In desperation, he took a chance and walked to the one person who could save him from his circumstance. Peter would not have dared to walk on water if he hadn’t endured a long night in the middle of the storm. Like Peter, I am on a sinking boat of sorrow and loneliness, of unfulfilled dreams and disappointments. My choice is to stay where I am at and continue to sink farther or to climb out and draw close to Jesus in a way that I never would have dreamed possible if I hadn’t been forced to make the choice. I had to draw upon my Lord’s strength and determine that I was going to go on. It takes amazing courage to live a different life than the one that you had expected and dreamed of having.

What if we are too afraid to get out of the sinking boat? When we are afraid of the future and our present circumstances, God has a message to us in Isaiah 41:10 “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (NIV). This verse reminds me of being a young child. I would pretend to fall asleep in the car on the way home so that my father would pick me up and carry me inside to my bed. I remember the feeling of my father being so strong and that I could completely trust him to not drop me. We can also trust our safety and our security to the Lord. Returning to the disciples in the boat, Jesus was always there even when the disciples could not see him through the wind and the waves. Jesus is always there for you even when you can not see him through the pain. Max Lucado writes, “Faith is a desperate dive out of the sinking boat of human effort and a prayer that God will be there to pull us out of the water.” Trust him to perform his healing on your life and for his strength. In His Word, God promises relief will come. Stand firm and believe.